Original Post To Chip In
Dear My Friends
Everyday before today my hope was lost. I have questioned my will to live, my ability to learn, my sexual identity, my want to be accepted and everything in between. Up until that day I discovered who I was. A Man. After that day my whole world changed. I had the want to become the person who was trapped inside of me. I had finally found that it was not where I wanted to be in life, or what I wanted to do. It was WHO I AM. Who I WAS all along.
It took me, my friends, and especially my family a lot of the time to develop a love for the person who was inside of me and to shed a tear for the person they were 'losing'. I have a better life then I ever thought possible because of one little mishap when I was in the womb. This is not a choice. This is not a decision. I do not wish this kind of confusion onto anybody. But, I cannot sit back and hold a pity party for myself. I can only look in the mirror and say 'this is who i am and i love myself because of it.'
Unfortunatly, the days of looking in the mirror in my new body have become less and less. The hurt I feel is like darkness from my neck down. My mind runs on empty because all of my energy is put into living everyday as if nothing is wrong. As if there is nothing to hide. But everytime I walk in front of that mirror I am reminded of what used to be. And the person I used to be. That lost person. That person who was not sure if life was worth all the pain and suffering. I am no longer that person but looking into that mirror is like watching a flash back of every bad thing I have ever done to myself. Every time I hurt that person because I was so lost.
So, I make this account because I can no longer look into that mirror. I can no longer NOT put an effort to changing that reflection.
I cannot do this on my own however. Top Surgery could possibly be the most expensive thing I could not afford. That's why I need your help. Anybody who has a extra penny in their pocket. An extra dollar they find between the couch cushion. A few quarters they found when putting on that old jacket from last winter. I am asking you to help me.
If you have any other way to "ChipIn" my e-mail address is Simba1987@aol.com .
Thank you! Because if you have even visited this page, it means you care. And I know a lot of people would like to help, but can't. That's okay. Because
I love you anyway just for caring enough to wish that you could. :)
Everyday before today my hope was lost. I have questioned my will to live, my ability to learn, my sexual identity, my want to be accepted and everything in between. Up until that day I discovered who I was. A Man. After that day my whole world changed. I had the want to become the person who was trapped inside of me. I had finally found that it was not where I wanted to be in life, or what I wanted to do. It was WHO I AM. Who I WAS all along.
It took me, my friends, and especially my family a lot of the time to develop a love for the person who was inside of me and to shed a tear for the person they were 'losing'. I have a better life then I ever thought possible because of one little mishap when I was in the womb. This is not a choice. This is not a decision. I do not wish this kind of confusion onto anybody. But, I cannot sit back and hold a pity party for myself. I can only look in the mirror and say 'this is who i am and i love myself because of it.'
Unfortunatly, the days of looking in the mirror in my new body have become less and less. The hurt I feel is like darkness from my neck down. My mind runs on empty because all of my energy is put into living everyday as if nothing is wrong. As if there is nothing to hide. But everytime I walk in front of that mirror I am reminded of what used to be. And the person I used to be. That lost person. That person who was not sure if life was worth all the pain and suffering. I am no longer that person but looking into that mirror is like watching a flash back of every bad thing I have ever done to myself. Every time I hurt that person because I was so lost.
So, I make this account because I can no longer look into that mirror. I can no longer NOT put an effort to changing that reflection.
I cannot do this on my own however. Top Surgery could possibly be the most expensive thing I could not afford. That's why I need your help. Anybody who has a extra penny in their pocket. An extra dollar they find between the couch cushion. A few quarters they found when putting on that old jacket from last winter. I am asking you to help me.
If you have any other way to "ChipIn" my e-mail address is Simba1987@aol.com .
Thank you! Because if you have even visited this page, it means you care. And I know a lot of people would like to help, but can't. That's okay. Because
I love you anyway just for caring enough to wish that you could. :)
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